HaulsAndAll

My Natural Hair Journey: 2 years Anniversay

Hello Loves!!!

I’ve been busy this month with MBA prep, work, and this organization that never seems to leave my side. I’m hoping to get my life in routine which will allow me to post more often.

My Natural Hair

I went “natural” around February 2011 (2 years old). I was transitioning prior to that but I wasn’t taking good care of my hair. I didn’t know anything about natural hair just that I no longer had to pay for a perm, and my hair would be big pretty curls eventually. My “big chop” was accidentally, I actually went to the hair salon intending to get a cute relaxed short hair do (yes, I wanted to return to the creamy crack) but I was in a random city and didn’t really trust the beautician. I allowed her to wash my hair and “trim” my hair. That “trimming” became my big chop and I hated it.

My hair after the “big chop”, shortest it’s ever been in my life

I kept it straight because I didn’t know what else to do until I saw Lillove81 videos on youtube. I loved her videos (please come back!!!), through her I learned about the natural hair community and so many other natural youtubers who I watch constantly. After that, I became in love with youtube and the blog world. The last 2 years have been a journey, with heat damage, random cuts, protective styling, product junkie-ism….I’ve been through it all.

I’m glad I went natural not only for my hair but it taught me so much about myself. I also found new loves, like fashion, makeup, and jewelry. Having natural hair allowed me to be daring in other areas of my life. Don’t get me wrong, its not all fun and joy. I spent countless days frustrated with my hair, having hair envy and simply fed up.

I’m in a better place now. I know what I like, what I don’t like, and I truly understand my hair, body, mind, and spirit (lol, ok maybe just my hair and body….the other stuff sounds good). I’ve come to realize, its JUST HAIR so I enjoy it and move on. Enjoy my collage below!

Proud Moment: Week 5

I was rereading some of my recent posts and I came across this post where I stated every week in 2013, I will update my blog with something I did to make myself proud. Obviously, I completely forgot about that and now we are at week 5. I cannot believe its February tomorrow, I really need to make more strides to complete my 25 for 25 list.

I will go back and list the weeks I missed.

• Week 1: I got up and went to work on January 2, 2013 after partying my life away on New Year’s. If you know me, you know that I’m far from passionate about my job right now so that was a real struggle.
• Week 2: I took the test I’ve been dreading. Got a decent score!!!
• Week 3: I conquered my fear and visited a loved one. In the beginning of 2012, I had a very difficult family situation which I wanted to avoid and pretend it wasn’t happening. This week, I embraced it, made a loved one happy, and set my own mind at ease.
• Week 4: I went back to work and did the DAMN thing lol jk. I had stayed home sick the week prior.

WEEK 5: I wrote this post. I’ve never hid this situation or lied about it but I always down played it and made it seem like it wasn’t a big deal (even joked about it). I convinced everyone that I was okay and that it didn’t really affect me. When I read the stalking post on For Colored Gurls, it just made me realize how important it was for me to share the real story from my point of view. I don’t regret it for a minute.

Truth Be Told: Stalking

Today, I was only through my Bloglovin and I came across this post from For Colored Gurls about stalking.  January is National Stalking Awareness Month.

It made me think about my own experience with stalking and how it changed my life.

During college I was in a rocky, needy, and emotionally scarring relationship. I felt like he needed me so I put his needs before my own. I sacrificed myself for him.

I always wanted to be a part of a sorority and during my sophomore year it seemed I would finally have the opportunity. My decision resulted in the demises of our relationship.

He did not want me to be in the sorority for various reasons but I was determined. Our relationship pretty much ended over it but it was still hard to let go. It got to the point where I would receive 60+ phone calls in one day from him, he checked my email daily, a security guy was searching my room to notify him of my whereabouts, he asked other students to watch me in classes, enrolled in some of my classes and started calling my mom telling her everything he thought I was doing and scaring her half to death. I was advised by friends and counselors to contact the authorities and eventually I got a restraining order (RO). Even while getting the RO, all I could think about was how I was ruining his life, how he loved me so much and this was his way of showing it and how I was probably making a huge mistake.

After I got the RO, I moved out of our dorm so that he wouldn’t have to and segregated myself from the entire campus. I grieved for an entire semester. I locked myself in my dorm room and didn’t go to classes. I was devastated, alone, and I felt incredibly guilty. It’s only by God’s grace that I managed to pass all my classes that semester.

He convinced everyone who would listen that I had ruined his life. For the rest of my time at college, I was sure people blamed me and thought I was the crazy girl who overreacted. Even after the RO, it didn’t stop….I was still mentioned on Facebook every now and then, he would magically become friends and message any new guy that I decided to befriend, I received anonymous messages begging me to stop ruining his life and sometimes people would actually be vocal enough to ask me “Don’t you feel guilty? How could you do this to him?” That piece of paper never made me feel safe, I was still afraid but it was all I had so I made sure I kept it, and he made sure he fought it.

For the rest of my college career, I carried the guilt and shame around. I was not the victim, he was. I was just the crazy girl who had the audacity to take control of her life.  I joined a new organization (which I will always credit for saving my future), found friends off campus and tried to move on. I didn’t feel safe until I left campus and moved far away. Even now, I still wonder if he is tracking my whereabouts or even if he will see this post.

I feel brave enough to write this post because I don’t want anyone to go through what I went through. I’m not writing this to get back at him, and I am at a point where I forgive him. I was somewhat lucky because things never got physical but everyone’s story is different. I hope this reaches someone and they can stop this path before it gets ugly. The experience taught me so much and in some ways was a blessing.

Never allow anyone to take control over your life.

Whether what you are doing is right or wrong, no one has the right to make that decision for you.

Put yourself first and don’t feel guilty for doing what is best for you.

Never be in relationship where you believe that another person cannot survive without you, this is how you lose who you are. 

If you believe you are being stalked, there is support out there (support I wish I had). Please click this link, this link, and this one too. You can also contact me

Stay Blessed

~CC

OOTD: My Hair cost more than My Outfit

New Year!!! Yay!!! (Aka not sure if I said Happy New Year on my blog)

Wishing everyone many blessings this year!

I went home to the parents this weekend and finally got the opportunity to wear something cute and take pics. After taking the pics, I realized the cost of my braids were almost double the cost of my entire outfit. Yay for frugal fashionistas.

This year, I really want to make an effort to spend less on clothing and wear items that are already in my closet. My goal is to buy 1 pair a shoe a month. Some people probably think thats still too much but I am a shoe junkie. I can literally buy 5 pairs of shoes on one shopping trip and not blink a eye. I LOVE SHOES!!!!

The truth is I don’t really have anywhere to wear these shoes and its probably a waste of money (even though they are so beautiful) so I need to chill. For the month of January, I’ve already purchased 3 pairs of shoes so I can’t buy new shoes until April (except for professional black pumps that I need for a conference I’m going to. Those don’t count).

To help me stick to this goal, I create a “Wish List” in which I actually write down what I need and want, and carry the list with me everyday ( I need it everyday, in case I forced into a spontaneous shopping trip. You know, that always happens). I don’t buy anything unless its on that list. It’s been working for the month of January, let’s see what happens for the rest of the year.

Anyway, back to the OOTD. Enjoy pics below!

Outfit: OxBlood Blazer (H&M- $20), Skirt (Ross- $2), Shirt (Guess- Old between $10-$20), Shoes (JustFab- $20), Belt (Old- No Clue)

As you can see, I was clearly feeling myself this Sunday. My mom picked out this $2 skirt and at first I was unsure but I think I made it work. Since I was at home, I didn’t have many shoe options but I knew I wanted to wear booties….. Introducing my military -style booties. I enjoy my outfit choices when I’m at home because I am always limited so I may anything work.

Stay Blessed this week!!

~CC

4 Ways to Start Living Your Life On-Purpose

Love This!! Enjoy!

4 Ways to Start Living Your Life On-Purpose.

25 for 25

One of my favorite bloggers Yetti at AndSoSheWrites has a post called 24 by 24 which I love. It was a list of her 24 goals she wanted to accomplish by age 24. I have been secretly rooting for her and sometimes I would check back to see how far she had gone on her journey. It was always encouraging to see someone accomplish the goals they set for themselves. For a while, I wanted to create my own but I feared that I would not actually accomplish the goals and didn’t want to disappoint myself. However, this year I decided not to live my life in fear (see post). Since my 25th bday is approximately a year away (give or take 10 or so days) I decided to create my own 25 goals for the year.

1. Apply to 5 Top B Schools and get a 680 or better on GMAT

2. Determine my passion/vision for my life and act it out (Career Change, I hope)

3. Pay off 3/4 of my student loan debt

4. Enter a Beauty Pageant (Miss Ghana USA?)

5. Get Beach Body Abs and display it on Instragram, Twitter, and Facebook

6. Travel to Houston, Chicago. Paris, Dubai,  or South America

7. Get rid of my acne ( Clear skin challenge)

8. Get a new piercing

9. Run a 5k

10. Make 5 new friends (at least one completely platonic male friend)

11. Reconnect with my cousins and Ghanaian family

12. Actively volunteer and impact a stranger’s life

13. Read the Entire Bible

14. Learn how to ride a bike

15. Grow my hair to my nipple (excuse my ratchet-ness, I don’t the technical length….bra strap???)

16. Take Pole Dancing Classes

17. Start a Youtube Channel

18. Go at least 1 month with a spotless apartment

19. Learn to cook all traditional Akan meals for my future husband and children

20. Have full conversations in Twi

21. Host or speak at an event

22. Save enough money to travel to Ghana and celebrate my bday in STYLE

23. Develop 2 new habits that help me excel at work

24. Actively seek new exciting scary opportunities

25. Fall in Love <3

I’m excited to begin crossing these off this year. I always thought my life would be so great after I turned 25 and I realize my life can be just as fabulous leading up to my 25th. Here to….352 days to 25….LET THE ADVENTURE BEGIN!!

Put Yourself First

This video speaks to my heart so much so I wanted to share. I hope it helps someone

2012- My Clutch

To be completely honest, I am NOT proud of myself for 2012.

I know, I know…the right thing to say is…”in retrospect this was great year, I conquered my fears, did this and that, blah blah blah.” But that’s not true.

I disappointed myself and let fear be a driving force in my decisions or lack of them. And no I’m not being hard of myself, I’m being honest with myself. I refuse to falsely encourage myself and acknowledge the fact that I gave less than 100% of myself in the majority of stuff I did this year (work, dreams, goals, etc).

I can only grow from the truth….

I realized that I’ve had painful CLUTCHeS for a long time. Things that have driven down my self-esteem and always made me feel less that adequate. One has been my acne. So, you are probably thinking “gosh, you are 24 years old and still worried about your acne”…yes, I sure AM….

I have had acne since I was 11 years old. I reached a point now where its more controlled and probably less a burden but its been my excuse. I haven’t stuck to a skin regimen or really try hard to get rid of it because then I will lose my reason for not being my best.

Cause then “I would be a really pretty girl to some people” or “I would have no excuse for being shy” or “I could speak in large crowds with confidence” or “I could follow my dreams” or “I could actually work really hard”

You are probably thinking “how are all these things related to acne?”.

When you allow  fear enter your life, it paralyzes you. You opens the gateway for more fear and soon everything is an excuse not to do something, an excuse NOT to be your absolute best. To have a negative fear (one that stops you from growing and learning) is  damaging.

When I was a freshman in college, I had successfully gotten rid of my acne and had a newfound confidence. I ended up in a really bad relationship that added to my fear. Since then I have escaped any other man and nourished my clutches.

For 2013, I just want to rid myself of these clutches and fear. I want to it to be a journey and I can progress and track here, weekly hopefully. A part of my fear is acknowledging it, so I have to update to stay on track. Once a week, I will blog something I did to make myself proud, and hopefully by end of 2013 I’ll have a different story to tell.

If you are out there and reading this (I know there is only a few, which was done on purpose), feel free to go on this journey with me.

~Stay Blessed

*Closing a Book, Creating a New One*

CC’s Quote of the Day

There is beauty in the struggle, rejoice in your successes and learn from your mistakes. “It’s normal to have that fear of “will they like me?” This is all about your own self-development and learning about yourself. If I walked away now and never set foot in my salon again, I’m ten times a better person than I was before my business and that’s what it’s about, the experience…The win is what you learn about yourself and how you develop… you [can’t] make decisions based off of fear, that can’t be the deciding factor… it has to be about the passion, about what makes sense.” Tricia Lee

I read this on The Style & Beauty Doctor, and I just thought it was perfect. Fear has been a driving force in my decisions for a while, I haven’t went after dreams or experiences because I thought I was incapable or not good enough. Sometimes I was simply scared of the outcome. This year, I’ve been slowly change that and I hope to continue in that direction.